As you point...

At some points in our lives ... we feel the "powerlessness" and we try to deal with this "lessness" in our own ways.

Some of us get angry, some want to die, some get paralyzed, some get critical, some get righteous, some get philosophical, some get into superiority or inferiority, some come out fighting and some just feel beat up. When in this situation, we take on a role to act it out. This is when we get into the so-called ... KARPMAN DRAMA TRIANGLE.

Wikipedia discusses the KARPMAN drama triangle as a psychological and social model of human interaction first described by Stephen Karpman, which has become widely used in psychology and psychotherapy. The drama triangle shows the dramatic roles that people act-out in daily life that are unstable, unsatisfactory, repeated, emotionally competitive, and generate misery and discomfort for both people, sooner or later. The switching that occurs between Persecutor - Rescuer - Victim - generates the drama and the painful feelings that occur when people have hidden agendas, secrets, and then manipulate for dysfunctional personal advantage.

The unfortunate and sad thing is when we handle the"lessness" by calling it in another person, usually ... the partner or the significant other. It is so easy to see it when another person handles this "powerlessness" this way but so hard to catch ourselves doing it. It is so easy to point a finger at someone, usually, at the person that we love. As a good friend would say ...remember that when we point a finger at that person in front of us, the rest of the fingers in that hand are pointing at ourselves.

BE HONEST TO YOURSELF and so you can set yourself free and thus the domino effect of setting free the people around you!!!

Please don't take out your issues on another being... That other person is not there to be your target area or your punching bag...

My Holiday Season!!!

I hope you all had a nice Christmas and a promising 2009 so far!!!

I was on vacation... (yep!!! those relaxing, stress less and yet poorer me days) for the first two weeks of December. I needed the vacation and I wanted to really go all out with my holiday decorations. Christmas is my very favorite holiday. Last year I did not put any decoration and hardly celebrated the season. My life was so hectic last year that I did not have the time and energy to celebrate as much as I usually do. So this year, I went back in gear...

I was done with decorations and gift shopping and gift wrapping by the second week. And the baking started at that second week as well. So by the time Christmas rolled in, I was ready ... stress less and looked forward to our family get together.

The Christmas Eve get together was wonderful. Thanksgiving reunion was at my house. Christmas Eve was at my goddaughter/niece' house. It was great to see everyone again. We had plenty of food, wine, laughter, hugs and kisses and pictures. I can't wait for this year's Christmas already.

I received many great gifts from family and friends. I felt blessed and loved.

I had to work on my birthday. My co-workers/friends had potlucks in 2 departments in our hospital. I even had two birthday cakes to blow... Neat!!! And the presents were great!!!

My New Year's Eve was wonderful as well. I have always worked on New Year's Eve but this time I had the chance to celebrate it with a bang.

Fidelity ... my take on it!!!

In the matters of the hearts, many variables come into play that make a relationship more challenging. The differences of the man and the woman in the relationship, just as being a man and as a woman - you know, that deal about Man from there and Woman from the other there... complicate the relationship as it is. We are not even going into the outside influences that add to the roller coaster ride in the relationship.

My ex-marriage was not the greatest but fidelity or I should say infidelity never came into play even in the worst of it.

My first personal encounter of this subject, infidelity that is, was when I decided to try a go of another relationship after many years of being alone. The man I thought that could be the second man in my life committed infidelity on his partner of many years. I was deceived, made to believe that he was not in any other relationship beside ours. Come to find out, he was already in a relationship for many years and was still in that relationship when he started chasing me. Eventually, my gut feelings lead me straight into the truth that I was seeking althrough the period of our relationship.

I was glad that I flew over in his world and saw things with my very own eyes... infidelity !!!

Another disguise of this act came into play in my life. The question or challenge that was brought to my senses... how could there be an infidelity when the third party is several thousand miles away???

Good question!!! My concern about this is the emotional effect and hold that the third party has even if she is several miles away. The lies, deceits, sneaking around befits infidelity... my opinion anyway. When I am in a relationship, I choose to be in it and give my all. And expect the same back.... Is that so wrong???