This nursy plays dirty and does it with pain...

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Reckless abandonment...

What causes us to be afraid of reckless abandon? Why are we always so guarded and afraid? Are we too afraid of the unknown that we don't allow ourselves to just abandon our inhibitions.

I spent a great day yesterday with my "almost sister, J." and her hunky, G. Their relationship is fairly new. Both of them are Christians and entered into the relationship through God. With that said, you'd think that the relationship is smooth sailing. But on the contrary, J is having a lot of uncertainties.

Two words or concepts I have shared are leap of faith and reckless abandonment. We sure had some interesting exchanges of ideas with those two words on the table of discussion. I admired G for being certain with his love for J. And I just like the way he explained himself on that. Loving someone through God and irregardless of what the other person's reciprocal feelings or emotions ... sounds wonderful enough. So why is she having some difficult time accepting him and those concept???

Are our lives so rigid with our goals and routines and obligations and responsibilities that we no longer unable to be pliable enough to take a break away from those goals and routines and obligations and responsibilities??? Are we so engulfed with life's astringent demands that we no longer able "to let loose" and be down and crazy and forget for a short while and do something silly and even crazy for a moment or two???

I know of a person that said to me that his year has already been scheduled for him (of course by his secretary) and thus can't see how he can squeeze in any other activities other than those already scheduled. For some odd reason, I felt sad for him when I heard that. Reckless abandonment... that would be nice for him, I think and so I stated.

I think I have done a few reckless abandonment in my lifetime... seems like I get pushed or put in that spot though by friends. I remember, a few years ago, going to Santa Catalina Island for a much needed R&R with four girlfriends. It seems like that I almost always opt for a more tamer, relaxing, quieter way of having R&R. Somehow my company almost always doing more spectacular, daring "fun" than I choose to. They are okay with my choices and I am fine with theirs... does not affect our friendships at all.

So then they decided to go parasailing, the next morning. For one moment I had that "reckless abandonment" and went for it. First of all I am not even a swimmer, I barely self taught myself to swim to avoid drowning. Second of all, I have this problem with heights. It is a tolerable phobia but my preference is to stay away from activities that require height.

The minute the harness was being applied around me, the feeling of adventure had drowned down ... hehehe!!!! My back formed that wide, big yellow streak on it... hehehe!!! I desperately wanted out of all that. But then there I was, eventually being dragged down the water runway and then lifted up on the air. How I survived that is beyond me... I think we all do need some reckless abandonment at times...

I am ready!!! Are you???

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

A talk about ... Universal Health Care

Wikipedia defines UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE as - publicly funded medicine in a level of medical service that is paid wholly or in majority part by public funds (taxes or quasi-taxes). Publicly funded medicine is often referred to as "socialized medicine" by its opponents, whereas supporters of this approach tend to use the terms "universal health care", "single payer health care", or National Health Services.

You might not agree but I think our present health care system needs a lot of overhauling. When I was in nursing school and did my ER (emergency room) clinical rotation, I told myself that was one department I would not want to get into. My reason then was that I saw the abuse in the health care system and saw clientele that ER seemed to carry on... the drug abusers and the "needy" people.

I stayed away from that area of nursing expertise for a few years until two girlfriends talked me into trying it out... My reason for not wanting to work there remain the same as to this day... seeing the abuse in the health care system and the hard to please clientele.

In a way you can't really blame the clients that use ER as their primary health source. These people come to ER with big chips on their shoulders already ... no financial abilities to gain access to health care and or their primary physicians are overloaded to accommodate them when they need to. These ER users are just plain frustrated in their attempts to get medically better. So when I see them in my triage room, they already have built-up frustrations and "pain" and discomfort so they have the tendency to be "negative and needy".

Is UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE the answer to these??? Let me put it in another angle... our education system is free and run by the government. Unfortunately as we know that system is messed up. Do I want my government to get hold of the health care system seeing what the education system is all about??? Yes, the present health care system is a mess but the government running it??? It will be one big paper-bound bigger mess. Let's look at going to DMV (Department of Motor Vehicle) to simply renew a car registration. How many steps and waiting and paper work does it take??? Now think of the more complicated thing as the health care. Hhhhmmmm??? Multiply that DMV scenario at least ten times worse when the health system is under the government.

Sure the health care coverage is outrageously expensive. Sure the government run health care will probably be cheaper. But then... you get what you paid for... ALWAYS!!!

Sometimes in frustration, I would say my 2 cents worth to these patients in waiting out in the ER lobby who would come up to my triage window and ask me when they will be seen. If only these people use ER as it is supposed to be used, then the congestion is not going to be happening and the real emergent patients are seen in a faster manner. The fever and colds and coughs and "boobos" and hurt pinky toe can wait and not life threatening and should not be clogging the ER.

My next entry would be the Pros of this concept ...

And the following one will be the Cons...

Monday, July 23, 2007

Picture blog by Human Mom...

Since my brain is pretty drained from 2 days of retraining/recertification ... my PALS and TNCC expired, I decided not to use any (brain that is) with this entry. Besides I am a bit down from cancelling my trip to New Orleans. Sharing some pictures of my 2 four-legged children. I still miss my Puffy but doggies lives are moving on...

Meet Duke, a typical Alpha creature, adopted recently. A 4-5 year old Llasa Aphso. Such a vibrant, loving doggy son.

He now is the second shadow to Human Mom, even in the restroom. He is now in training for what this girly house is suppose to be .... hehehe!!!

He loves to play with Human Mom's garden shoe, in fact, the left pair is now his "security object". Human Mom retired the right pair in hope that someday the left pair will be let go and able to join the right pair again. In the mean time the left pair goes wherever the Duke Meister goes... So far it remains intact though.

You have heard about my ever so loving dog daughter, ever so faithful ... a Human Mama's Girl... Zipper. She is about 14-15 years old, a Llasa Aphso , definitely a gracious 'ole lady and yet still energetic, or she tries to be...

She is training Duke on how to be a gentleman ... hehehe by snarling at him when he tries to pull one of those Alpha maneuvers. Of course, with Human Mom's nod and approval and occasional... way to go girlie, you tell that hunky how to behave around us girls...

Ever so patient, Zipper, is never presumptuous, always looking in Mama's direction first for approval, be it with food, going in the house, going out the door... such a perfect dog...
Together they are adjusting to each other's idiosyncrasies. It is such fun to watch them with their antics... for free, I get entertained.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Animated me!!!

Can you imagine a world with only one personality wherein everyone thinks the same and behaves the same??? I must say that God does have a great sense of humor for creating the many personalities in all of us. Our differences are what make our lives interesting. The intermingling of these differences is what gives us the feelings of sadness, happiness, fulfillment, failures and many other "humanly" characteristics.

These humanly characteristics have been portrayed by the many cartoon characters out there that were made by great creative writers. Have you associated yourself with one of these cartoon characters???
I always have had great admiration for Eeyore. I don't consider him as a reflection of my own personality but this creation of A. A. Milne, shows us the negativism, resistance and fears of people. Eeyore, a character in Winnie the Pooh, has a wishy-washy kinda approach to life. He gives voice to the worst fears there are but makes one face possibilities that would rather be avoided. Eeyore notices if things don’t work out. His “I told you so” makes us see the price of the possibilities of "good".

Now, there is one character out there that carries many of my self-reflections... TINKERBELL!!! Tinkerbell was created by James M. Barrie, the British playwright and author of Peter Pan. Many versions exist of Tinkerbell, none are perceived as important as that created by Marc Davis (1913-2000) the famous animator at Disney in 1953.

Tinkerbell, the jealous fairy who glowed the brightest for Peter Pan. I have yet to find my Peter Pan and maybe show off my glow, but that is another story. I wonder how bright my glow can be when my Peter Pan comes along??? Hhhhmmmm??? Tinker Bell is a mender of pots and kettles, a tinker is a tin worker, and with her magic wand led Peter Pan through the ins and outs of Never Never Land which made her one of our greatest influences to search out and find, thus the name.

I can't say I am a mender but I do like to keep busy, always having projects at hand. I have been accused many times of having an affair with the mail man or the milk man or the UPS man because of the times I would rearrange the entire house and puzzling the other members of the household how I was able to move certain furniture or appliance in the house. I keep mum. Let them guess. Maybe a hunky on the side has been helping me... hehehe!!! NOT!!!

I guess the child in me is drawn to that " fantasy" that Tink exudes or represents... the sparkle, the unexpected flash of light, the speeding beam... uplifts me to that land of possibilities and good... the never ending hope and wishes. Many dreams still to be gotten. There is always an endless possibilities. Many Never, never land to reach and claim and rejoice about.

It took me a while to learn to focus ( I still have the struggle) on the positive sparkle of life. It is still hard to keep my wand directed to the pleasantries of life... but I am more aware and more appreciative. I guess the Eeyore side of my life taught me that. Life, God's sense of humor, the cartoon adventures in this Never, never land that we live in, had helped me quite a bit in finding my power to search for that which I can no longer have, keep me reminded that anything that can be believed and make-believe is real.

In my "mature" years I see myself more of a free spirit, like Tink. "She is what she is, says what she says and doesn’t give a care what others may think, and seems happy to tell people they are a silly a--. She does however endear herself to everyone in spite of her jealous ways and spiteful character. She would lay down her life for Peter and finds it difficult to compete with his attention to other adoring female company."

I think the only characteristic of Tink that I don't have or if I do have is the degree of jealousy. I am one to see with my own eyes first before being jealoused... and what I see has to be something outrageously outright for me to spend any energy or brain to that issue. Otherwise, it is not worth it. And if my Peter Pan is stupid enough to divert his attention then it is his lost and his character at stake... not mine.

Another side of Tinkerbell that I don't see in me is the vindictiveness and hatred... but then I have not been provoked that badly yet... hehehe!!!

Monday, July 16, 2007

C's Birthday!!!

It was a long week!!! All worth it though. It was a pretty hectic week of working and preparing for my one and only child's birthday party. The last time I had one for him was when he was 12 years old. I thought this year he could use one. He has been down a bit for an overwhelming adjustment to the hectic life of "adulthood". Besides, my family has been hinting to get invited.

So I had a total of 46 people over. It is always a pleasure having my family over, especially seeing the little ones. Food, food, food, eat, eat, eat and eat some more... and talk until ours ears fall off!!! What a nice life that is.

It was nice to catch up with my cousins' lives and seeing how much their children have grown. We did not even do Karaoke this time, we got busy just talking and looking at family pictures and watching family films.

I did have to leave them when I had to go to work but I was not worried at all because I knew they will take care of everything. The best deal for me was that the "boys" worked on my gazebo remodelling... I will surely share the picture of the finished project. They did such a great job. My brother, Emil, has to put the finishing touches next week-end when he comes back.

The children were tanned very well... hehehe!!! They spent long hours in the pool while the adults were under the patio with the ceiling fans going... temperature was in the 100's both days.

Food??? I had a cooler full of iced drinks. A huge container of lemonade. A jug of iced sun tea. Fruits... cut up watermelon, grilled pineapple and peaches (a big hit) and Manila mangoes and bananas.

Sweets... chunky chocolate chips cookies, oatmeal raisincookies, chunky peanut butter cookies, camaroons, divine angels, brownies, leche flan cassava, rice cake, and the birthday cake. Popsicles and ice cream and smoothies were consumed as well.

There were the mixed pancit, menudo, shrimp/mussels dish, grilled salmon, hotdogs and sausages, tri-tip steaks, chips and hot salsa, pork adobo, and cat fish soup (sinigang), grilled asparagus, mushroom, and zucchinis, veggie lumpias, lumpiang shanghais and pinakbet. My picky nephew was served my macaroni and cheese dish which made him content and happy. And of course the biggest electric rice cooker was on...

Most everybody stayed over so the party continued the next day... I mingled a bit after work then off to bed... I was waking up with the voices outside in the pool and the patio and drifted off and on to sleepy land. Then I had to work that night again. Whoever were left behind cleaned pretty much the house and took all left over... my order... so that I don't have to eat them.
It was a great party!!! I wish you all came over...

Friday, July 6, 2007

Interracial, a talk about its beauty

Interracial union of the hearts... come into place without any prejudicial intents. Cultures intermingle, genetic traits amalgamate. The offspring of this union shows off the blended beauty of the genetic mix.

When my son was born and I had the time to really look him over, I got fascinated by his physical characteristics. He definitely inherited and shows off the genetic mixture from both his parents. His father - a second generation German American and a Filipina mother. I always think he has such a beautiful skin coloring... always a light golden tan. His hair coloring is a mix of light brown and dark brown. Eyes that are somewhat brown with hazel tone to them. He turned out to be a tall product of a 5'11" father and a 5'4" mother... 6'3".
But then biological benefits or disadvantages of interracial marriage should probably be irrelevant. People should be choosing their marriage partners based on personal characteristics. Man/woman should marry someone who she/he decides to be committed to loving the rest of his/her life irregardless of what the offspring might look like.

One comment I have read..."although most hybrid children are uniquely beautiful, they face the tough time socializing, unless they are exceptionally good looking". I did not see this issue with my child growing up. I have to admit though that it came into play with his first relationship that caused his young heart to break. The ex-girlfriend is of English heritage. The young lady did not have any prejudicial tendencies but unfortunately, her parents could not recognize the relationship because my child was not quite "white" enough.

I personally don't have any problem with this kind of hypocrites because I just go ahead and bounce back to them their attitude... it is really their problem and not mine... prejudism I mean. Can you imagine how rotten they feel inside when around people they don't regard as "equal"??? And this is how I raised my child... that there is nothing wrong with him. He is a beautiful person inside and outside and should not believe anything less than that. Hopefully, he would always live in the thinking that I always share with him... treat other people as you would like to be treated. And don't let the stranger's ignorance make you uncomfortable.
One other benefit of having parents of different cultures is inheriting two cultures instead of just one. My son loves it. He loves to be around his Filipino relatives and embracing the uniqueness of it. The ongoing joke with him and my family... "C, you are so tall (he is 6'3") which he always answers back... No I am not that tall, Filipinos are just short people".The bottom line is... the most important feature in a person, hybrid or not, is the inside. Inside beauty is what really count.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Ratiocination of A G E

Age is not important unless you are a cheese. Is it really NOT that important??? Age and aging I mean. I look at age and aging in two ways ... biologically and psychologically. And this is where it gets catchy on the discussion. Some people are lucky enough to be blessed with the "young look" wherein their chronological age does not seem to match their physical age. Of course physical aging can be skewed by many factors that are probably brought unto himself by the person himself such as smoking, drugs, and other unhealthy practises.

I was in a discussion with a health nut friend who I did not know was a "casual smoker". I had to impart the .... 1-900- NursyE- advice-line. He did not like that I was lecturing about the fact that his running many miles a week become unimportant when he is smoking away the cilia along his respiratory tract. Eventually, smoking will eliminate all these cilia and he would be puffing and huffing in his run.

I come across many people in my career as a front line caregiver. Some of these people are of my age and once in a while I wonder if I look as bad or as good as that person across me. It shouldn't matter, right, sure, some people would say. Others would say that age is just but a set of numbers. True, it is a set of numbers but it is more than that, isn't it? The D Dictionary defines it as ... That period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we have no longer the enterprise to commit.

Some people look matured enough and yet act immaturely, and vice versa. I have been told that I look younger than my age but still... if only I can hasten the advancement of the gray hair and the rickety bones... hehehe!!! Vanity, vanity, vanity... I know. Okay, I even agree to the "all in the mind" business of aging. You are as old as you think you are. And I believe that ... sometimes!!!

One issue that I have come across about age is the age gap between partners. Many Western men have decided to get into the relationships with much younger Eastern women. I have seen many broken relationships with these unions. I am not surprised a bit. These young women have so much more years of growing up that when they do, the men are caught off guard. Do you really think that a man in his 60-70's can keep preoccupying the mind and heart of a woman in his early 20's??? Get real!!! So then, what would be the good age gap???
In my unstoppable aging process, I look at my son as my mirror. I look at him and think of his growth process and alongside, I see myself evolve as well... So far, so good!!!