This nursy plays dirty and does it with pain...

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Out of this world!!!

You might not be one of those believers in this kind of out of this world talks but this is just a personal view and experiences, so do as I live by... "have an open mind that is unattach to nothing..."

Near - death experience... NDE!!! You wouldn't believe they even have groups for this phenomenon. People do belong in many groups about this to share and vent out their individual experiences. I personally don't belong in any of these groups. I don't even think my thoughts and experiences with this can be recognized as "official" qualifications. Nonetheless, some things about it, I would like to share.

My "first" encounter about this issue was shortly after I turned into my 40's. I woke up or seemed to be,with amazing weight gain. I never had weight gain ever before so I brushed it off and just put in my mind that I would watch my diet and be active more... although I am the type that needs to be moving or doing something or I will go crazy. And so I did, but the weight gain escalated in a fast rate instead and so I just put more effort into trying to lose it... to no avail.

And so I was alarmed, as a nurse, this was not quite right to me. So I approached my primary physician and that started the many strings of blood tests, Xrays, procedures to check me out. When nothing seemed to be wrong but pointed to hormonal inadequacies that we put in the picture my OB-GYN. The only thing we can point the unusual occurrence was my hormonal switch was totally out of whack from many years of negligence on my part... lack of sleep, hectic work schedule, hectic school schedule, hectic motherly schedule and in the midst of deep depression with my (ex)marriage. I was not eating and when I was eating, I was eating wrong. I was a full time mother, full time student, full time employee and living in a not so harmonious marriage so my body was not given the proper rest and sleep for many years.

So then after group discussions between my primary physician, my OB-GYN, my physical trainer and my dietitian, we formulated a "treatment plan". It took quite a while before a mix of medicinal intervention triggered a favorable result, meaning finally my weight was coming down... hooooraayyy!!! This is all in the span of 4-5 years. So now I am working vehemently to get back to my "normal" weight... it is not that easy but I am thankful, it is the right direction and have not gained any more weight. It is a slow process but I am just glad.

So with that story of years of unknowing what was wrong, I came to a point of fear... fear that I was dying. My medical background did not provide any reassurance on this doubt. I just knew something "big" was wrong with me because it was unexplainable weight gain. So I prepared myself in the possibilities of "death". Can you imagine when I finally had some reason to negate that fear of dying??? I was a changed person. When weight was going down and I have a medical diagnosis to go by that I was celebrating of another chance of life. And that brought me this attitude of "less or no expectations"...

"Less or no expectations" in life is a blessing to have. It brings less sadness and less frustrations.

My second confrontation with death was two weeks ago when my mother and I were involved in a vehicle accident. We had such a great two days together. My first day off, we spent getting our spa pedicures, hair cut for her and hair wash with deep condition for me (I love my head to be massaged), then we had lunch, then off to see a movie. The next day we went to a nearby casino and it was one of my very lucky day... you would not believe the money I came home with!!! But that was dampen by our drive back home. We were talking away when suddenly we heard a big booom and then my SUV went out of control, swerved to the right and hit the middle part of the semi-truck. I was afraid at that time, that it was our end. I finally got control of the vehicle and attempted to swerve it to the left where there was a median road. Thank goodness, the SUV stopped when brake was applied. Thank goodness, I did not panic. I don't actually panic which I learned from many trauma nursing trainings.

So my vehicle is official declared "totalled" but that is not even important. The greatest thing is that my mother is alive and has minimal discomfort. We have to be under some medical supervision for a while... longer for me because I have more extensive "trauma". But we are alive.... and that was my second near-death experience. I joke about now having only eight lives left...

So what do you think? Any similar experiences!!!